Sunday, November 20, 2011

Rue in the loo



An MBA perspective of B-school hostel bathrooms

Maybe, the 3 million of the future managers will be able to relate to what I write here. The 3 million who aspired and were eventually driven away to hostels to share the ‘exotic’ rooms will be able to. Bathrooms were the least worry then, it is the morning ritual now.

There is something about the bathrooms of the hostel that no other place can teach. Honestly, JK Rowling should have written her books in there. The intriguing half white scarred tiles empowered with cobwebs in every corner you notice, you might as well be inspired like the King Bruce who learnt from the spider.

Applying the S.W.O.T. (Strength, weakness, opportunity and threat) analysis to the four walled, tri-partitioned area, we can arrive at the following :

(a) Strength : A place for meet over and exchange of pleasantries

(b) Weakness: The strength of the place is misused

(c) Opportunity: every senior is dodged by the junior

(d) Threat: By Murphy’s law, it is never available when you need to use it.

This place can teach you more than necessary:

(a) Patience and calculation: Place your bucket in front of the door and wait for your turn . More than the virtue, it instigates you to calculate the probability of the person coming out that door as compared to the next one.

(b) The social network: Introduce, interact and associate to the gossips of the haven.

(c) Estimates: Understand the usage patterns of others, estimate the resources and time utilized, reduce competition by seizing opportunities.

(d) Competition: Observe what the competitors do and use. Be a leader in a peculiar habit/ usage or be a quick follower. Go for a defensive strategy when the a product you think is your is lying next to the wash basin but someone else claims for it.

(e) Full utilization of your senses: Capture the sounds and smells. Stay alert to dart outdoors.

(f) Management crisis : Run on the tap for hours together in anticipation of hot water, forget to carry the soap into the bathroom, three people queued before the door are all crisis that needs tactics to solve. Make long term strategies.

(g) Time management: These teach you time management like no other.

The BCG (bathroom consulting group) :

Star

Hot water

Question mark?

Individual bathrooms?

Cash cow

Shower usage

Dog

Dustbins. Bathrooms never have dustbins!

Hostel bathrooms are mini discotheques; people rush in like mad, play music for whatever reason, sing aloud and leave in a happy hurried mode.

Bathrooms have their own business cycles too:

The normal usage is at peak but during exams, the usage is nearly zero. Bathrooms experience recession during exam time.

CSR activities:

The only CSR activity that can be practiced is to use the bathroom for what it is meant for. Also, keeping the "environment" clean gets you the ISO standard.

Thus, the conclusion that can be drawn is that bathroom problem still remain, at large, unattainable. The college doesn’t care. The students don’t care either!

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Words, an obsession

Flattery among the unnoticed clutters,

Magnanimous altered from the simple things,

Volume echoed from a shrivelled voice,

Words, o wonderful words ! What else is better than you?


The flow that captures the moment that never lasted,

Drills in accordance with every human emotion,

Laugh, cry, smile and wonder,

Words, o wonderful words ! Can a face do any justice as you do?


When in solitude, I hear you stronger,

When you string with your kind, I feel you,

Speak of volumes that man had created,

Words, o wonderful words ! Utter the tales that I never lived to see.


Present through sands of time,

Living my life as it were borrowed and lent,

Passed through aeons of timeless experience,

Words, o wonderful words ! You complete me, my beloved companion.


When wrecks occur in believed blissful life,

I set out to search the right sequence,

Embed in my mind, heart and lips for ever,

Words, o wonderful words ! Violent wars are imbibed by you in history.


Form of expression never recognised,

Silent whispers like tears in a lover’s eye,

Pacifier and purifier of doubts, anger and pride,

Words, o wonderful words ! Where do you not exist?


Creating magic and language among human life,

Preserving the most sacred relations in dying times,

An angel to every brotherhood and sorority kind,

Words, o wonderful words ! Wed you, shall I?