Friday, November 12, 2010

L for love

In less, life in a lackadaisical but lucrative labor of load some, literally lessens the likeness of leading to liberty. Lack of leap of faith disallows libidinous in lieu of lust. Loathe of loaf in locked out labyrinths of lunatic locals leads to lesions of loser. Live limiting to lie and not loiter in lifeless pursuit of longevity which likely lies on loneliness.

Only legality is losing you to the liking of loner likely unknown. Look at light looming over loots of luck and understand the lullaby of Lord.

Its L love LOVE!!

Sunday, October 10, 2010

dysfunctional

Off lately, there have been instances when I have been vexed up just because of ego problems. Not ready to accept what the other person says. In the course of such actions and in spite of it being my entire fault, I have never blamed myself for that. Why? Because I have listened enough to others that my life has been led by other people’s advises and suggestions. Now, when I seem mature enough to make own decisions, people ask questions and are able to find problems.

I was never sure if I did want to do biology in my twelfth standard or hold a yet another engineering degree till end of my life. I am still not sure. Those were days when decisions were made for me. I have no regrets; I never have regrets with things I have done but to think of the fact that I could have done something else and been someone else makes me wonder. Everything I have done so far in my life has had significance and I have done quite well. When I look at the profile that has been prepared now, I think I have quite justified with whatever opportunities that have crashed down the door. Still, in one corner of the heart, an annoying call of guilty retains.

Should I have done things I really wanted to do? I remember telling my neighbour that I would become a ‘forensic detective’ someday. It was triggered plainly by some Enid Blyton books which I used to adore and follow religiously. I still smile at that remark made. But, I haven’t changed since then. I still would love to be a forensic detective because I still love those books. Do childish ambitions like this ever come true? 24 of years of living, I still can’t answer that.
I have often seen parents imposing their ambitions on their children. The most surprising part is that they are eventually achieved. It is because parents go to any extent of sacrifices to get the best out of their progeny. In this vivacious cycle of desires, do the children fail to know what they want? Have I forgotten what I wanted?

20 years down the lane, will I be doing the same? I have told myself that I would teach my children dance and a music instrument. Have I forgotten the golden rule of respecting a child’s wishes? But my child wouldn’t what he/she wants. Was it same with my parents? Didn’t I know what I wanted? Questions have been unglorified and in the end it has been what others have wanted. They have what they wanted. Here is a girl of their wishes and will carry the torch of family forward.
I wonder what I am filled with. Guilt? Annoyance? Ignorance? Ambitions? All I want to do right now is run away from the world and make time to introspect.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Cash flow in simple terms

“Hello doctor, how do you manage your work and family life?”, I asked looking at his tired face.

Simple, operation, invest and finance.

"Huh?"


(1) Do the operations properly as they are my revenue generating activity, I mean my livelihood.

(2) Then, before I can take come the money to family, I try to invest. I cant give my wife the money, so I purchase assets like gold or something. Sometimes I try to sell away my liquor bottles before going home, those are like selling my assets.

When I do all these, I receive a lot of things.

(3) With the rest, I finance. I hate the word finance, it is all about pay, pay and pay!!

Pay the interest, pay the dividend, repayment of loan.



“Hmmm..interesting”, I said. “How does the family react?”



It all begins with my income statement. After all, that is the thing they are worried about. When I take my profit made, after the buggers have deducted the tax. Lets say this as my profit after tax, family starts a calculation on this. Calculations occur on the inverse order!!



My family is very weak in math, so they add the expenses and subtract the income .

“That is crazy!”, I said.

“No, that is not crazy. That is how they get the gross profit!”

“Then?”, I asked.

“Understand murphy’s law always. Good things always move away and bad things always come to you. So, an increase in asset is cash outflow and increase in liability is cash inflow”.

“Life sucks!”, I said.

“Ya , I know. Family does a post-mortem of my gross profit as stated as above”.

“Is it over then?”, I asked. He laughed.

“ Everything ends with tax again, subtract it to get my lovely money from the operations”.



“Tell me more about the investments. Impressing your wife and disposing your bottles”.



“As I told you before, I receive a lot of things. Add them. When I sell my bottles, I get money. Add them. But, when I buy gold, I shell out money. Subtract them. Remember loans given and advances come here. That’s it. Done with my investments.



“Your financing?”, I asked again” You hate the word na?”

“Yes, subtract and subtract everything that is paid! Your finance looks out of shape!”



“Is that all?

“You are forgetting the non cash”

“There are non cash????”



“Yup! Like the profits that I make on selling my bottles or sometime, I do make provisions . All these are either added or subtracted from PAT. Like, Provisions when increased over years are added and gains & losses I make are subtracted and added respectively.



“In the end, add all the cash from operation, investments and financing”

“Wow!! That is one hell of calculation your family does”.

“I know. In the end we know our cash flows!”.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Don't wake me from fantasy

The world is gory dark, you make me visible,
Deep oceans and farthest skies,
Can you measure it all?
That is the intensity of my affection for you.

You can't read me, neither can I show it,
If given a chance, would die thousand deaths for you.
Life was simple, you complicated it,
Added oodles of expectations and surprises.

I was sane till you came into my life,
Despite that, burden seemed less and strength I gained.
You are the only one to make me cry,
Yet, you are the first one to wipe them away.

Where would I place all the gratitude?
Which told me that life was worth living.
If words meant all, I shall string together,
For them to end, even universe is negligible.

A request I place, till the journey to my grave,
Don't leave me to tackle the world all by myself,
Don't challenge, It is not that I can't,
But if you did, I would be only half a human

celebrating mediocrity

We are the mediocre. No great looks, no astounding brains or any sign of achievement.
We are the jack of all trades, and truly master of none.
We are the multitaskers, and could give you a complex.
We don’t take life seriously because nobody takes us seriously.
No, we don’t have qualms about that because we don’t care.
We are allowed to make mistakes,
We judge the system and throw questions, because system is only for achievers.
We are the manipulators, the innovators and anything you see around was because of us,
People call us lazy; that we are but then, we make you feel good.
We don’t know what we want in life,
And because of the very reason, we try variety in life.
Love doesn’t come easily for us but then we never give up,
Life is a game and we take the chance.
We come out as dull but never boring; parties never happen without us.
We are masters of tactic and time consumption,
We exist, therefore we are the mediocre.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Thank you :)

One of my closest friend here put up this as a poster on my bday :) Thanks Sumit. God bless you loads :)Made me feel really special.

When u come, people run.. some even try to jump,
It’s your courage that you take this as your triumph.

How can we forget to mention your awesome play in baddy (badminton),
When you hit smashes players hide out and cry aloud really baddy.

Even your helping nature is like one big crane,
That’s why we never mention in front of you even if we have some pain,
Coz we know you pick up any1 down and put them directly into drain.

We are fan of your skills to pull up the CP,
We wonder how can a person just pull out something, impress and than for rest of the period just do TP (time pass)

Though never wanted to tell the truth, but letting it up for every1’s gain,
Every thing above is our brain train,
We know here is Subha and Subha is here to reign,
But today let her be only our friend and let us take this gain.

Many Many Happy Returns Of The Day Dear.. God Bless..

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Billion hearts beating

He loves your parents.
He loves your siblings.
He loves your life partner.
All you need to do is take care of him.

Billion hearts beating. Take a pledge by leaving a comment in this post.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Life, through his eyes

The December wind blew over making him shutter slightly. He hated the wind but today he had no qualms. He gazed into nothing and was very aware of the silence around. His heart beat was rhythmic. And heavy.

"Cry!cry! waaaaahhh!", Sristi laughed dodging away from him.
"You are acting like a kid", he replied trying to catch her.
She laughed again. He thought she was beautiful. There was nothing extraordinary about her except the mysterious aura. A ready smile and eyes full of innocence. The eyes he could stare into for eternal.
"Cry and I will give it back to you ", she said fanning herself with his college certificate.
"Boys don't cry, in case you didn't know", he retorted back.
"Ya right! Macho man!", she flung herself over him, "Congrats! You are an engineer now!". She hugged him tight.

The thoughts made him shutter more. Her softness lingered somewhere on him. He settled on the grass.

"Can we marry? Today?", she asked.
"What??! ", he exclaimed scanning around to see if anything hit her.
"C-A-N ..W-E.. M-A-R-R-Y?", she asked stressing on every word.
"You were alright in the morning. Must be the ice cream," he said.
She was disappointed. He hated to see her like that.
"Don't you think its too early? I mean, I don't even have a job right now. Let me do my Masters and come back quickly. Four years more..no..three..that should be fine. You can wait na?"
"You are going to US and what am I supposed to do here alone?", she asked meekly.
He could see tears brimming in her eyes and nose turn red. 'She is very cute even when she cries'.
"Don't worry, as soon as I get a job , I will send across the tickets. You can join me!", he replied.
"Shut up!", she said softly.
She was irresistibly beautiful.He kissed her.

He closed his eyes for a moment to visualise and feel the tenderness of her lips. He moved his hands in air like he was playing with her hair. For a moment, he forgot he was alone.

He jumped slightly to get a glimpse of the entrance gate.
"Beta, be careful. Study well. Take care of your health. Don't get into the habit of alcohol", his mother listed the do's and dont's.
"Ya amma. I will heed to all that", he replied still looking at the gate.
"Whom are you searching for?", his mother asked , quite annoyed.
"Sristi!", he shouted and waved at her.
She waved back running towards him. She was intimidated by the presence of the whole family but he didn't care. He just hugged her oblivious to the surprise 'aah's and ooh's' in the family.
She blushed. "I got this for you", she handed over four t shirts and two sweaters.
"Beta, you have too much luggage already. Give it to me and I will keep it at home", his mother offered.
Sristi's face saddened.
"No amma, I am carrying it with me. "
He opened the suitcase in the middle of the airport and handed some of his clothes to his mother. He placed her gifts in his bag.
"Amma, I don't need those clothes. I will take hers", he told her. His mother was thoroughly annoyed.

His heart felt heavy. He wondered if his ambitions were wrong. He wondered if he should have ever come to US.His heart beat faster.

"15 missed calls Rahul! You couldn't return even one?", she cried over the phone.
"Very sorry sweetheart. I was very busy with my summer internship. I had to finish off what the professor asked me to do by evening".
"You could spare 5 minutes for me!", she cried again.
"You are too good that if I pick the phone to talk, I just can't put it down in five minutes", he replied.
"You are ever ready with an excuse", she claimed and hung up on him.
He knew she would call back. After ten minutes, phone rang.He picked it.
"Darling..sweetie..beautiful..sugar pie....

He smiled. He could never count the number of words he used to flatter her with and the excuses he used to make her happy.He should have been honest with her. He had always felt insecure. He wanted the best for her. He always lived in the fear that he would not be able to give her the best.He was lost in thoughts.

"Rahul, its over", she said.
"Why why why?", he held the phone tightly.
"You have no love for me", she reasoned.
"That is foolish! I am totally crazy about you. I cant live without you", he exclaimed.
"Prove it. Come back to India and speak to my parents. I cant wait any longer.There is so much pressure here that I cant take it. Why dont you ever understand. ?", she choked while she spoke.
"Darling, my semester exams get over by August. I will positively get a job by December. Just wait for another 10 months. Please. I will definitely come back then", he argued in his favour.
"We will just tell them about our relationship. Please. We could postpone everything later but tell them now.", she begged.
"How can I do that? I have no job . I cant do that. Just 10 months please", he held the phone even tighter.
"Please Rahul, I beg you. Lets tell them"
"Sristi.....please...Understand my position too".
"Rahul, its over." He heard a click on the other side. He knew the phone would ring in ten minutes. He hoped.

"What have you done to me?", he thought. He had made several attempts to call her but there was no response. He heard that her marriage was fixed to some other guy putting his 7 years of relationship with her to an end. He didn't want any details after that. There were no plans of visiting India again. Not for now. Her memories haunted and made him lonely.
"Boys don't cry. In case you didn't know", he said softly. He put his head over the knees letting tears take over him.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

A husband called Mathematics

To every good thing, there is an exception-An exceptional quote by one of the well known Roman philosophers. From the day of 25th August, 1986 , I have been trying to prove this exact point to my over adamant parents who refuse to agree. Hailing from one of the high class "Math-freak" family, I was expected to carry on the torch of quantative glory till the end of my life. Obviously, everyone was in for a great shock when I made my first mistake of 2+5 in the I standard. My father went into a state of mental trauma, mother shut herself in the puja room and silence engulfed the entire house provoking me to get the answer right. Being a man of practicality, my father wanted to bring a new approach to the problem using "practical" approach. Whenever 2 toffees and three pencils sum came across, he gave away the exact number of toffees and pencils to help me count. His practical way of teaching stopped when I came to him with a sum that involved "4 cars and 2 bikes". The numeric trait just skipped a gene in my case but sister was gifted with the ability making matters worse for me. While I was crying over simple problems of permutation and combination, she would be calculating the GDP of the country. The only time my P& C was legally right was when I calculated the right amount of time to act busy and ignore her when she came to me with her doubts. This legacy with Maths disaster continued all through my school life and was very evident in my board exams. Coaching classes with one of the best mathematics teacher, Mrs. Gowri, didn’t help me either. While my best friends solved problems with passion and pleasure, I only gazed at the geometric circles like they were determining my destiny. In my classes, I vividly remember being taunted by a bi-spectacled teacher who had laughed a wicked laugh when I didn’t know how to make a thousand with eight 8s.I had to put in extra-extra-extra efforts to scrape through the subjects in my school days. Fate has a plan on its own and when it is mixed with family decisions, it becomes a deadly combination. I was to do engineering after my 12th and knew maths was going to become my "double sided cellophane tape" boyfriend who would never depart. In my Engineering, the only maths I remember is calculating the "probability " of rain on the exam day, paper getting leaked and me passing the exam(and always landed with consistent zero).
I have many reasons to hate the subject. It freezes my mind and makes me surrender to it within moments. The numbers, x's and y's do a tribal dance in front of my eyes putting me to desolation and run away for salvation. I must agree I have had very little pleasurable moments with the subject and one of them was 'counting my salary'. My company made it easy for me too; giving away as less as they can. I think I have decided to commit a double suicide when I joined MBA program recently. During one of the financial management tests, I literally gave up on my 16 years with numbers. I wonder why I get up at '6' in the morning to take '8' mugs shower, scamper on the '4' idlis and walk under '40' degree sun just to realize numbers make no sense in my life.
The wikipedia definition of husband goes like this - The rights and obligations regarding his spouse, others and status in the community and in law varies between cultures and over time. In my case my 'husband- Maths' never gave up on me, following loyally, multiplying the expectations, adding my owes and screwing me royally.

P.S.; I wrote the first line quote. You wouldnt want a quote from a loser!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Techie and me

I realised that I was lost without technology. Shut away from the world and thrown into cellulars of darkness. Got my lappy today and 'era of blogging' begins again :D

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Mappillai, mami and filter kaapi - 2

I looked out for him in the gathering.Sriram,dressed in dark blue t-shirt , legs stretched across the table and discussing something with great intensity in a gang of five that I assumed would have been of trivial value .I ceased to exist from the scenario. I sported a new hairstyle and was credited as 'the best look ever' by my almost-lakme-model cousin.

Until recently,Sriram loved my hairstyle so much that he dragged it in every joke among our friends and I don't blame him. The frenzy style that could be mistaken for a squirrels nest. I had secretly tried out many ingredients over it but in vain. It refused to un-frenzy itself even with world's every ingredient over it. 'Curly hair is cute, you know', one of my friends had offered but Sriram had shown himself up at the right moment and when he heard 'cute' and 'me ' together, broke into hysterical laughs and it was my doomsday since then.

After one year of consultation with cousins, friends, sister and parents, I straightened my hair. Now it was tamed and I had to show this to him. It might shock him and leave him amazed. That is the look I wanted. But how was I to grab the attention? I saw his mother whispering something into hear. I was pretty sure he never even bothered to hear to it as he was eyeing a girl right across the table. 'idoit', I thought.I waited for his mother to leave.

I pondered. Probably I should just say a 'hi' but then that wouldn't produce the required effect. So, I planned to walk right across him and make sure he noticed. Maybe I could walk right across him calling out my sister's name loudly that he can hear. Yes, that would be it.
I trailed a path in my mind and followed it.
Sriiiinnnnnnnniiiiiiiittttttthhhhh.........
My voice was loud enough to fill the hall. Everyone turned their head towards me.
Yes! I grabbed the attention! Except that I landed right over my stomach, flat on the ground. The hall was silent for two microseconds and I heard giggles here and there. Sriram was not giggling;he was having a fit because of too much laughing. I got up immediately, straightened my clothes and left the place.
'Nice hairstyle!', he shouted.
'Your face!' , I replied back.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Yehaan kya ho raha hai?

My respects to the Victoria ji. Hell no! Not the queen of England but my eighth standard Hindi teacher who involuntarily threatened me to learn the Hindi language by failing me hundred times. Without her, where would I be? Lost in the green paths of ICFAI campus and joining the leagues of monkeys amongst the mango trees. My attempt with the language may be pathetic but with appropriate signals and little of dumb-charades , the message is delivered. With the message acknowledgement comes a question- are you a localite? I am glad to be recognised as "one of the south Indians" but when everyone finds out; from watchman to class lecturer, it does make me check my dressing sense more than once. One of the elites clad in salwar kameez and smiling lustfully at the thick curd that is given away in the mess does put me in the appropriate category.
My Hindi reached heights when I did frame a proper sentence with what I learnt in my eighth standard.
"First floor ka (or ki, I don't know) Kidiki kula hai"?
One of the assistants of the warden gave me a look like I had vomited on her face.
I tried again
"Uper bathroom ka kidiki kula hai?"
Like my Accounting subject staff said, 'Be clear in context when it comes a lay man.' A woman in my case :D.
She gave me the same look and I was thinking of another rephrase when she suddenly pounced on me to declare that she does not know Hindi.
Cool! I was in a greater dilemma. I need to learn the native language now.
Telugu here is totally different from what my 'golti' friends spoke. I am surprised that I was fooled by the fact that I thought I knew Telugu. So, I had to manage with mix of English and Hindi.
Adding to language hazards, I am also one of the abnormal ones to roam about the campus alone. I get looks like 'maybe a wierdo' but I must say I do enjoy certain privileges of judging people. It is not like I don't want to make friends but I am taking my own time.
Subjects on the other hand are driving me crazy. Here is a manager in the making who cant differentiate between asset and liability and especially when they are supposed to equated. When I asked my neighbour , she explained so much that put me to shame and I went on looking down at the book and acted like I was solving a very particular crisis in our country. I was double embarrassed in another incident when I interacted with my study partner only to discover that he was 'at least' three years younger to me certifying me as an 'aunty' to them .Adding to the owes, he claimed 'hamari group mei sab meri batch se hain'. It gave me a headache and I slept for 12 hours straight.
Left with very little choices,I am planning to visit the city tomorrow with people of my own age group ( My best buddy since school days) and watch a movie at IMAX. To help me wash away all the sorrows .

Friday, May 21, 2010

Week that was - 'B' School

My first week at B school and I havent a single soul who speaks my native language :'(
I shuttle from class to room
I lose way to mess and everywhere
I am lost in accounting class
I understand nothing of statistics either
Now, you wonder why am I here?
I wonder the same.
Headache.Severe.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

A dedication

A dedication by Gayathri to me :) . Thanks a lot girl . God bless you :)

Hi Subs..

Jus wanted to write a mail to u in remembrance of “Our Friendship”. I am not as Good as u in writing. This is directly from my heart.

THANKS SUBS..

For all those lovely times u gave..

For all those silly talks we had..

For all those gossips..

For times we spent doin nothing and roamin.

For bringin me back.

Loved those moment and cherish them till end.

Happy to be ur friend.

Sad to say Bye L.

Hope and wish our friendship continues as now!!!!

Our friendship will always be cherished in my heart.

I use these words only to my close one

Now happy to add you in that list subs.

I LOVE U(in proper sense ;-) )

WILL B MISSING U!!!!

Take care Subs!!

Regards,

Gayathri Rajendran.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

14th of May- My last post at Infosys Forum :'(

The sky is orange, solitary I am here,
Oh waves! Minster of the ocean,
Carving everything on your way,
Utter the things I want you to say,
Men have come and gone,
So have their wise sayings,
You have witnessed them all,
Hence, it is your memoir now,
Teach me life, tell me words,
Caution I say, I dislike advises.
He roared with virtue,
Came with the words,
“Whatever I tell you, my child”,
“Is worthy of my experiences”

(1) Jealousy is a feeling; a basic human character. You are not a saint and so you are allowed to vent that emotion. You would feel jealous if your boy friend / girl friend praised another person or even when your own sibling is appreciated. The jealousy can be materialistic too. It is not wrong to feel jealous about something but concealing it is maturity. Don’t let jealousy get better of you.

(2) Love can teach you many things; sacrifice and selflessness. It can teach you patience and make magical things around you. But what ‘love’ can’t teach you is to ‘un-love’. Whenever broken in a relationship, move on even if it is hard. It will teach you more sacrifice, selflessness, patience and everything becomes less magical and more practical.

(3) If you looked at the mirror and want to describe yourself, you will see half your life was influenced. No, don’t blame yourself for that. Our society has been framed that way. Even when you are totally independent and plan to go out of country, you are still expected to inform someone at home.

(4)Friends are asset. I am not sure if they are your alter egos or life lines but they define who you are now. They help you grow and better yourself. Few ones stay but ones who just passed your life teach you a lot. Friends who stay give you support whatever may be the situation. Both kinds of friendship are very necessary. Don’t shrug off friendship; every person has something to teach you.

(5)Brooding is a way of venting; a passage to relieve the heaviness in the heart. Sometimes you brood about everything and anything and, sadly, to everyone and anyone. What you must understand is that when you brood to a person, remember, you need have open ears when the other person broods to you too.

(6)Everyone has regrets in life and they flash every time we are low. For instance, you might have regretted being in so-and-so college. If you look at where you are now and introspect, being in that college wouldn’t seem very significant. What I tell you is that, you will not be able to forgive yourself in your entire life if there was an opportunity in front of you and you still ignored it. Those are the greatest regrets in life. Regrets are not with what you did in life but what you didn’t.

(7)Attention is something that attracts everyone like magnet. You tend to like the person who attends to you. The more that affection showered more the liking towards the person. With affection comes expectation which can be calculated as more the affection, more the expectation. There is nothing wrong in fulfilling the expectation but too much of fulfillment would lead to adhesive closeness. At one point of time, you may wonder if you are the person who is leading your life.

(8)Work on your strengths and never be ashamed of it. Reach out your strength to everyone and you will be surprised to see how many people enjoy your work. Talents are gifts and you can afford to spend time over them. Also understand that there is no one who can advertise you other than yourself.

(9)Be practical enough to understand that you can’t be Shahrukh Khan and have fans following you. Leave that to destiny but what you can do is respect people who respect you. Be respectful enough not to intrude into other person’s privacy. No one is perfect; you are part of that ‘no one’ too.

(10) Foolish those who say forgive and forget. If you can’t forget something that someone has done to you, it is equivalent that you haven’t forgiven them. The only thing you had to is to ignore that the thing happened. We are not Buddha but we are human being.

(11) Don't ask a question you never want to answer. Don’t advise things you never want to hear. Don’t utter words that you never can take it. Don’t justify anything to someone you love. All that was given somehow comes back to you.

(12) Compromise isn’t a negative word always. There are some things you never want to compromise; your goals and ambitions but most of the others can be compromised. Understand, we don’t live just for ourselves.

(13) Lastly, nothing waits for you. Neither time nor love. Life can’t be perfect. Making the best out of the imperfection is what you must do. Only your shadow follows you.
It came to an end, the way of life,
He made a great halt and I bowed,
“The mighty old king of sea,
You teach me more than I need”
The sun hid himself leaving thee to thyself

Monday, May 10, 2010

The CYLINDERELLA story

Statutory warning : Boring post

The baby slept in bliss in her mother’s arms. Her lips were red and cheeks pink.
‘Most beautiful baby’, claimed her mother warming the baby.
‘Madam, the gas agency people are here. We will get our cylinder today’, informed the maid intervening the happy couple.
This made them happier.
‘Cylinder!! Wow wow! How long have we been waiting for one!! This child is very lucky for us!!’ shouted the father in joy “And to remember this occasion, we will christen her Cylinderella!!”
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa….”

Mother dies. Don’t ask how because it is not important but what is that father marries again. Like in most south Indian serials, father has no role to play after this. He gets drunk, beaten and flees to marry another lady. I know that is a pathetic exit but no other reason would justify his disappearance.

So, our poor Cylinderella is put up with her step mother and two step sisters in a medium sized thatched roof. I retain the step sisters’ gender because I want no controversies. Now, don’t pounce on me to ask if two females can’t cause any controversies.

Cylindrella grew up to be a beautiful 18 year old girl. Err..why not 16? If 16, the ministry of women and child development could come barging into my place for what Cylinderella is going to be portrayed as. She was much more beautiful than any of her sisters which is kind of obvious for a protagonist but needs a mention.

Everyday she had to work like a slave from making the idlis in the morning to washing clothes at night. Life was very miserable for her and she sat near the gas stove everyday talking to her dog which replied back ‘bow! bow!’ meaning cheer up! By the way, I hate CATs :D.

The sisters, including Cylinderella, eyed the neighbour boy named Ezhavarasan , nicknamed ‘Prince’. Prince went to a school that was considered posh in their locality. Yes, he was still in school because he failed twice. Every morning, he took his blue cycle and rode off to school. The sisters deliberately sat in the veranda to watch him go while Cylinderella peeped from the kitchen.

It was once that he showed off by performing a stunt and broke his front two teeth. That became his mark of heroism and hence the sex appeal.

One day, Prince was throwing a party because he passed his twelfth standard. His house was decorated in ribbons, banners and banana plantain. Everyone was invited including the step sisters. They assumed that Cylindrella was not invited and asked her scrub the floor and put kolam in the front. Her step sisters dressed in blue and red half sarees and the flowers in the head could make anyone faint. In literal sense.

When they left for the party, she cried alone and suddenly an old lady with wings appeared.
“Who are you?”, she asked looking amazed. The old ladie’s mouth was red because of paan and she smiled a toothless smile .
“I am mother fairy”, she said
“Mother? you mean grandmother?”, Cylinderella asked.
“How dare you?!!”, shouted fairy pointing a old stick at Cylinderella’s nose. “Maybe, olay ageing cream doesn’t work on fairies and works only on Sushmith sen”.

“Don’t worry fairy. But why are you here?”, asked Cylindrella.
“Don’t you know how the story goes? Do you read books or not?!”, growled grandmother fairy.

“Oh! Wait! I will bring the pumpkin”. Cylinderella ran to the kitchen and brought in the biggest pumpkin she could find.
Grandmother fairy prayed, raised her wand and swoosh!!
Voila!! Pumpkin halwa was steaming hot in front of them.

“What is this?!!”, Cylinderella asked quite annoyed.
“What else do you expect me to make out of this pumpkin? This is one of my favourites, you know”, replied fairy examining her wand.
“But fairy, I want to go to prince’s party and I don’t have a transport or decent dress to wear”, Cylinderella explained.

Sheesh! What kind of female are you? Steal one of your sister’s dresses and walk to his place. He is your neighbour, incase you forgot”.

Cylinderella was thankful for the idea and grabbed on a dress and wore her best. She wore matching clips on her head and examined herself in the mirror. She looked beautiful. She thanked the grand mother fairy.

“Just a warning, be back by 9”, advised the fairy.
“Why?”
“Because I go blind after that. So, make sure you come by 9”.

Cylinderella agreed and went to the party.

Prince was amazed to see a new girl . It was rare sight to see girls with good sense of dressing in the hall. So, he danced with her. All night, he pulled up his dhothi and did kuthu dance. Cylindrella giggled and enjoyed herself.

The clock stroke 9 and Cylinderella took on to her heels. Prince kept calling out to her but she didn’t turn back. One of the clips dropped near the door and prince picked it.

Next day , both, Prince and Cylindrella were sad. Prince was determined to find the new girl and so, he took the clip and tried it on every girl’s head. It was not a great feat as only very very few of them were good looking. He tried it on the step sisters and it fitted one of them perfectly.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh..Princeeee…”, cried one of the sisters with dreamy eyes.

Hello ! wait! This is not how the story ends!

Prince fought his way to the kitchen where Cylindrella had been waiting for him and he put the clip on her head.

“I always knew it was you”, said Prince
“Is it?”, gleamed Cylindrella
“Who else in our neighbourhood uses jasmine oil on their head? The clip smelt of jasmine”

With teary eyes , she hugged him. They married and lived happily ever after.

Wait!

During their first child:

“She is so beautiful”, said Cylindrella hugging the baby.
“Yes, she is”, said prince.

“Sir, LIC agency has come”, said the maid servant.
“Wow!! After so many days!! She is very lucky for us. Let us christen her Lickella!!”

“That sounds bad”
“Ya! I know. Let us name her something else”

And it continues…

Yawned? I warned you.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

The war

“The skies saved us last time. Lord had shown mercy”, General Lysander thought looking at the calm blue cloudless sky. “Let my folks men not starve”, he prayed as he examined his fellow Spartans working.

The ship cut through the waves ferociously leaving behind enormous delicate white foam. Each battle of Spartans against the Athens told a different story; of destruction and starvation. The wars were savage, brutal and with verge of enmity. Nobody was evil in a war; the war as such was evil enticing people to do their worst.

Spartan’s last battle was a near death experience and they had to flee. They had lost 70 ships and most of the crew men were stranded. Mercy was shown when the weather turned sour and Athens could not attack them.General had heard that Athens had turned against their naval commanders executing six of them without a second thought. War makes anyone either a hero or a murderer.“My men and I are not heartless”, he thought, “a situation makes us so”.

They had to fight again; defeat or victory was not in their hands but they had to believe. They had to end what they had started.Standing tall at the end of the ship, dressed in golden armour that reflected the sunlight, general looked like a king. He knew battles are fought and won not with man power but intellectual. And he was gifted with it in surplus. He had befriended Cyrus and his strength grew in manifolds.

Everything had a convergence and when that was destroyed, half the battle could be considered victory. He was going to attack Hellensport which was the grain area of the Athens. Poverty and starvation would be the result but choice was minimal.

“Είναι έτοιμη με δυνάμεις* ” .The highest officer in command acknowledged it.‘

Men fight to experience death; to find what hunger is all about’, he thought as he wore his war clothes and shield. Everyone was working as if they were leading the army.

The uneventful journey continued for 7 nights but their spirit was not dampened.

The ships hit the shore on the eighth day. In an enemy land, it was danger that waited but today only silence did. The crew moved in groups and cautious with each step. The dawn was to break in few minutes while the crew waited behind the cliff till they could see each other’s face.

He, commander of Athens, strode towards the sea with such arrogance and majestic justifying the position he held. ‘Everyone walks like that in his land’, thought Lysander, ‘only to find that it may not belong to him the next day’. He was followed by two of the fellow citizens; malnutritioned and completely ignored. They carried his clothes and armour. The sword was hung around his hip. ‘Careful person’, noted Lysander.

Lysander had to start as his men waited for him. With a short prayer on his lips , he strode forward looking only at the commander. He bellowed to bring in the fury in him. He had to take back what belonged truly to them.

Lysander was impressed with the way Athenian commander drew out the sword almost immediately. The commander was on his heels and stood waiting for him. In his last step, Lysander jumped and the swords of the two enemies met to write a history.Lysander was blinded by anger and the only thing he sought out for was revenge. He could not see what was beyond that. With every acquaintance of the sword, power was less but the belief was more. Athenian commander was an animal and fought with power and no brain.Lysander was hurt physically, only physically but strength within him grew. His men still waited for their leader to finish the commander. With one stroke that came suddenly and accurate, he beheaded the Athenian commander.He raised his sword that had glistened in the light but now covered with blood.

With fury, he shouted “πολέμου μόνο άρχισε “. War just began.


* be ready with forces

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Maapillai, mami and filter kaapi

“Hello madam!”, Sriram’s voice sounded husky over the phone.
“Her name is Meena and she is a 2009 pass out”, I replied back curtly.
“What??!”, he asked, genuinely confused.
“You usually call when a new girl enters our ODC, so I assumed…..”, I was grinning sheepishly.
He was amused and I knew this was going to be the news of the day. By lunch, it would reach faster than our Indi café services. Who in the right mind said girls conveyed messages faster?
“PM came to my cubicle now. He asked me if I was ok with travelling abroad”, he explained yawning. Guess, trying to show off like it is not a big deal.
Hmmmm..that doesn’t convey anything”.
“I know. Was just updating you. Okies, I am going for coffee. Catch you later”. He hung up.
I was wondering if Sriram had a chance of an onsite opportunity. The competition in the team was very tough and everyone had visas.
As I was wondering about this, suddenly everyone started clapping; including Venkat who all this while was sitting glued the PC.
“A tribute to Subha’s intelligence!! She gives valuable information even without being asked”,shouted Sriram raising his hand as a sign of triumph.
“You have any clue why you are clapping?”, I asked Venkat.
“No!”, he replied even without looking in my direction and started clapping with such vigour that his spectacles fell on the ground. I slumped into my chair. ‘I under-estimated Sriram’.

4 days later,

I was adjusting my bangle when ‘plonk!’ someone hit my head. I turned to see Sriram dressed in light blue shervani and worst, looking very comfortable unlike me, who was clad in the most colourful saree that even Jyothika dared to advertise. “You look beautiful!”, he said and colouremerged on my cheeks. Even before I could acknowledge his compliment, I heard my sister say thanks. Sriram gave his award winning grin looking at her and colour returned on my cheeks-blood red fury and embarrassment.
Rammmmm…!!”, his mother called out from the other side of the marriage hall and our hero rolled his eyes . She was dressed grander than the bride and strode with such an elegance that added more ‘grandness’ to the silk saree. The sound of mirudhangam seemed to complement the scene and was like the background music.
Sasi aunty is looking for you. She says she wants to meet you. She saw you when you were just 5 and it has been a very long time”.
Sriram didn’t say anything and searched for Sasi aunty in the crowd. His mom turned towards me scanning from top to bottom.
“Did Ram tell you about his onsite offer?”, she asked like it wasa general knowledge question.
“What onsite?”, I asked perplexed and looked at him. He just shrugged his shoulders.
“You don’t know va?”, she questioned like I didn’t what came after A in the English alphabet. “Ram is going to US in few weeks. His Visa is under process”.
I was annoyed that I didn’t know and made sure not tell him anything in future. “He just told me that his PM asked if he was willing to travel outside country”
“Yes ..yes!! that only”, she said. “It means he will go to US soon. His clients are in Houston . So,my son is going there pretty soon.
“What?! Oh..but..I mean..his PM just asked”.
Aunty glared at me and deferred her look for some time. “You are just jealous that both of you joined company at the same time and he is the one going”, she plainly accused and left the place before I could say something.
“Don’t give me that look. I am not responsible for that”, he gave an innocent look.

Sasi aunty came in with full enthusiasm. There was so much rose powder on her face that could paint the whole marriage hall pink. Her daughter trotted behind her and she could paint the guest rooms.
Ramuuu!! You have grown so much!! And how thin you have become!! Don’t you eat well??”
I noticed Sriram tuck in his belly as she said that.
“I heard you were going to US. Nice ! All my brothers and their sons are there only. You can ask any help from them .”
Sriram just smiled as she went on with her blabbing.
“Hey, meet Shruthi. She will be finishing college this year. She wants to go to US too!”.She held her daughter’s hand like it was made of diamonds.
Sriram was as astounded as I was at the statement and I was enjoying this.
“She knows to cook and sing”, she went on while I was imagining just that – Shruthi singing while cooking and feeding Sriram like in Tamil movies. I laughed. A bit loud, I guess.
Sasi aunty gave me that disgusted look again. I wondered what it was with women and their expressions. It seemed to come with the age.“Who is she?”, she asked looking at me. If looks could kill, I would have been dead then.
“My colleague, aunty, and she is related to the guy’s side”, Sriram explained.
“I have heard many of these corporate stories! Marrying their own colleague! What a disgusting thing! You better be careful Ramu. My daughter is not like them”, she said in a proud tone.
I took a deep breath as she left the place.
“Are you not too young?”, I asked.
He gave a blank expression.
“For marriage?”, I asked again.
He just laughed . “It is like the movie ticket. Advance booking , you see”.
“Crap!”, I retorted back.
“You are just jealous!”, he claimed giving an expression just as his mother did.

An hour later,

Hey Sri! Why is that I have a feeling that all your family folks are staring at me?”
“Cough cough..actually they are.”, he said looking somewhere else.
“What??! Why??”
“Because I told them that I was in love with you and going to marry you”, he explained while fumbling with his dress.
I stood frozen in the place and found my head spinning . “That is an indecent proposal!!”, I screamed.
“Hey, my would-be shouldn’t shout at me like that”, he said.
“Idiot! You are committed to someone else. Dont you realize that?”, I screamed again.
“So what?”, he asked. “That can be sorted out later. This is for time being”.
“Time being?? What do you mean? Wait wait! Is it because you didn’t want to be caught with the rose powder? Escaping from Sasi aunty, is it?”
Sriram smiled agreeing to every word.
“You are completely out of your mind ! Seriously! “, I said laughing at his expression and admiring his knack of managing the situation. “Your mother would have been hysterical!”
“Ya ya! She actually didn’t like it either”
“So what did you tell her?”, I asked out of curiosity.
“I just asked her one thing- Subhashree or Vellakari?”, he said in a low voice.
I laughed loud.

Sasi aunty came to us with her ‘looks could kill’ expression.
“Ram! You are just like others. All spoilt and bad. Marrying your own colleague……”.
She was stopped by Sriram’s mothers who came to save me. I didn’t know what to say.
“What Sasi are you talking? My daughter in law is going to IIM next year”, she said adjusting her saree.
IIM..who?”, I looked around, “me?..how?..”
Sriram’s mother put her finger on the lips and I became quiet. Sasi aunty looked at three of us and left the place.
“I am going to IIM?? I am just giving CAT this year!!”, I explained with pauses.
“Yes ..yes!! that only”, she said. “It means you will go to IIM soon.”
Sriram laughed his head off while his mother looked at him like she was looking at an extinct species in a zoo.
I pulled up my saree slightly and ran for my life!

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Nerd-->dude!

In our lifetime, some people involuntarily (or voluntarily) become the outcast. No, not in the literal terms of the caste driven community of ours but the way we just shrug away some people for them not being like us.

Since our petty school days to the days of cubicle, we have simply disregarded one type of genre- the nerds. In our native language-the pazhams, thaiyar sadams and so on. As I say the word 'nerd' , a bi-spectacle hyper tension figure with lean long hands and running nose is what comes to my mind. Apparently, thanks to cartoon network for portraying them that way. I remember from my school days; we looked at the first benchers as if they had just swallowed a giant squid and ran the opposite direction. They were never considered our type and spoke a language, like an esoteric group, which was few physics and chemistry words strung together. They had a special aura around them that made you feel very small for the knowledge and you begin to curse the creator for giving you minuscule amount of brain when compared to them. Thus, the distance between two extreme species of same clan was vast.

Theory of cyclic human nature is prevalent .If a person had looks,he had no brains and vice verse. The combination of both was deathly fatal and can be major 'axe' effect. Nerds were never known for looks. To be precise, they were never looked at twice. Buried behind books and laptops, you remember their hairstyle more than anything. It was obvious, they never had time to talk and never had time for girls. Lets say, they did meet a girl who supposedly should have been his partner in lab or a neighbour who borrowed all his notes, the conversation starter would be " Have you looked at the kerbs cycle?" or "In which region does the crystal oscillator work?" making the woman take on her heels and ending the conversation even before it started.

It was not because they did know what to talk to woman but the question was "how". The girl who they have spoken to and moved around first would eventually become their other half later in their lives. They could handle the world's sophisticated code and use the latest technology like breeze but never figure what to say to the fairer sex.

Time goes on and they keep making friends by helping others. The reason they are never forgotten and always liked but never admitted in a gang.

The universal truth is going to be catastrophe- everyone admires a nerd . Even if they are the most ridiculed person, they have always managed to be the centre of attraction ; be it at the international conference of worldly knowledge or the among the ragging seniors in the hostel rooms. They have always been soft natured who spoke very less and low and attached many 'thank you', 'please' and 'thanks for your time'. This is why most of them grow to become what is known to as perfect gentlemen.

Like a pupae to butterfly is how I would describe their looks to be. Considering the fact that we never looked at them when they were young, we wonder what an amazing person they have become as they have grown up. With extravagant knowledge and sophisticated speech, we , girls begin to enjoy their follies and call it 'cute!'. They begin to impress us without a slightest effort; natural charmers I say.

In all, nerd turns out to be a dude you always have known and loved.

Dedicated to all the nerdy guys I have known :) Perfect gentlemen :)

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Price to pay

Olivia opened the carton of orange juice which was one of things she did every morning. Nothing energized her like the sour tingling taste of the fruit. She settled on the chair which was just few feet away from the bed. She smiled at Nathan’s innocent face that was in deep slumber oblivious to the admiration. She wondered how this sweet cute face could cheat on his wife. Nathan was married for three years to Meghna ; a well read engineer from Bangalore. They had known each other in the office and were engaged a year after their acquaintance. One year after their marriage, things went wary and the couple fought every night. This led Nathan to visit the city night clubs and bars and it was during one such occasion that he had met Olivia.
Olivia was just irresistible. With a slim figure that seemed straight out of Victoria’s model agency and independency that attracted most men. She never had a permanent job and never felt the need for it. Every night she frequented the bars and moved with rich men. Nathan was not her type; the reason she was attracted to him. It was one night when Nathan drank away his grief and sorrow in a corner where she met him by accident. On one look, she could tell that he was couple of years younger than her. Nathan was dressed in business suit and seemed to be out of place. She started a conversation which she had never done with anyone else and Nathan just vented out. She was not listening completely; she was admiring his innocent face and the voice that choked between sentences. He was drunk foolishly and she had to help him. She almost carried him to her room and the fateful night became a routine.

Meghna dried her hands in the saree pallu. She was mentally frozen and carried out the chores mostly out of habit. The work in the office took away most of her energy but gave the satisfaction. Also, it distracted her from thinking of what her husband was doing. Meghna was aware of where Nathan went every night although he excused himself with office work. When she first heard about it, she didn’t believe it. As a matter of fact, she didn’t want to believe it; until she had followed him one night. She had seen Nathan go into a bar. She didn’t mind his drinking habits but when she saw him intimate with another female, she just flared up. She moved out of the bar and never spoke to him after that. Nathan did not seem to mind and the distance between them grew more.
Meghna knew they were never going to be together again and decided to file a divorce against him. She was quite sure Nathan would approve of the same. Fate had a mind of its own. It was on the way to the lawyer that she fainted at the lawyer’s office and was taken to a local hospital where the doctors declared that she was pregnant.
Meghna was caught in a dilemma ; she wanted a child and at the same time end it with Nathan. She felt he had cheated her and put her in the situation in which was caught now. The fury grew and it was mixed with sadness. She had never felt more hurt in her life. She wanted to end it all.

Nathan snored gently and changed his position. Olivia sighed and moved to empty the glass in the sink. She wanted to sit there all day watching him but he had to go home. He had to do go to his “first” home where his so-called “other half” lived. Olivia settled next to him on bed and ran her fingers through his hair. He groaned and grumbled something. She shook him gently like she was waking a kid. He suddenly opened his eyes and grinned at her. He took a glance at his watch and sighed. He had to go home now and get ready for office. He got up lazily, kissed Olivia and made his way to the bathroom. Olivia lay on the bed for another fifteen minutes. She missed him already.

Meghna stared at the contents of the bottle that was clutched in her hands. The online search had confirmed an instant death when taken whole at a time. She knew she couldn’t do it and he didn’t deserve this but the evil side of her said he deserved the pain; the pain he had given her. This would be for her child. She didn’t want her child to know what his father was like. Her hands trembled and she poured the contents into the upma she had prepared for him. She was lost in her thoughts.

Olivia stood on the porch as she saw Nathan drive. It was still dark outside and he always left very early to avoid other people recognizing him. She had a mild headache and decided to sleep as there was nothing much to do. She craved for Nathan and had let him know many times. She wanted to marry him which was so unusual of her nature. She never approved of marriages but he had made her weak. She wanted him forever. She wanted him to divorce Meghna and marry her. She was going to persuade him somehow. But for now, she wanted to get rid of the headache.
Meghna watched Nathan eat his favourite upma. Not a word was spoken. This time, Meghna found the silence too obvious. She kind of choked at what she was doing. Nathan didn’t leave a peck on the plate. “It tastes too good”, he told her.
It was sudden for Meghna and she found all the energy draining out. There was guilt and sadness that seemed to fight each other. She told herself that she had committed a grave mistake. Nathan had even smiled when he said that .An unknown bond existed between them even though no words were spoken. The love had not faded. Her hands shivered. She reached out for the telephone. Nathan collapsed near the wash basin.
4 hours later, at City hospital
Meghna watched her husband from outside the ICU. Doctors had just told her that he was poisoned and she tried to give a genuine expression of being shocked. She was very glad that her husband was better. She knew she could never forgive herself if he had died. She needed to talk to him. She waited for him to get better and out of the hospital.

Olivia looked like she was in deep sleep. In fact, endless sleep. One of the police men felt her pulse and confirmed their doubts. The milk man had come early morning and found that the lady of the house was not willing to open the door. He sensed something wrong when the mobile phone was ringing continuously. He called out for the neighbours.
The headlines next day informed the death of a middle aged lady in her apartment. The story went on to explain that she seemed to have been poisoned and it was mixed with the orange juice that she had consumed early morning. The police suspected a murder and wondered who could have poisoned a lady who lived all alone.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Forgotten Milestone

It was 1940, 2nd of May in France and the temperature outside was mild. The atmosphere inside the small wooden army cabin that was stationed at the border was the same .Lieutenant Colonel Rafe licked his lips. He bent upon a brown tattered map of France that contained the intricate routes. Smoke from cigar disturbed his view; the smoker was Colonel Pervez. Man of large frame in his late forties with well trimmed moustache, just smiled. “Nothing tastes like these cigars, not even woman’s lipstick”, he claimed. On the contrary, Rafe was thin and pale with stern quick eyes that seemed to follow every detail. Officers feared Pervez’s brawn while they were admired Rafe’s intellect.

“I fear the number of our men we have sent to confront in this sector”, Rafe pointed out to his senior. Pervez gave a sad look as if departing from his cigar meant his death. “You worry too much, dear Lieutenant. Forty is not a small number for the place. Germans would never take that route as the terrain is not very convenient”.

Rafe was not convinced because Pervez was prone to make mistakes and ‘convenience’ was never in an army dictionary. He studied the map carefully and looked for signs of danger. Had he not been busy with other sectors, he would have checked the troop that was sent.

“If German’s enter through the mainline, we can attack them from all the three ends but if they take this route, we would lose all forty men”, Rafe claimed, more to himself. “Losing forty men is not a big deal, Rafe, especially in an enemy confront. It is natural.”, Pervez said his usual lethargic tone. Being a man of practicality, Rafe knew it was true but that was not what they were assigned to do-lose men foolishly. Planning was never easy; it was semi barbaric and sentimental at the same time. Most of the men who came into army had families.

“Did you take a look at the troop at least?”, Rafe questioned Pervez. “Yes yes. Inspected last night .All good and patriotic”, claimed Pervez. Rafe knew it was not true. The bottles of alcohol stacked in the corner spoke of a different story. “Why do you worry about them so much?”, asked Pervez. Rafe was provoked but he maintained his calm. “Men come to serve our country and they have families! Don’t you realize that? They shouldn’t lose their lives just because their seniors committed a grave mistake of not looking over things. Their life is our responsibilty”. Pervez rolled his eyes and seemed not bothered. The concept of family never appealed him. He was quite content with all the women he went out with frequently but never fell in love with any of them. According to him, men in armies did not need families, just as Rafe and he had chosen not to marry. Rafe, because he respected them and had decided to marry the one he loved. To fall in love was not possible for a man in his position.

A muffled sound came over the receiver that was placed in the far end of the cabin. Rafe moved towards it to adjust so that it can capture the signal. The cabin creaked as Rafe made movements. “Colonel Colonel! Do you read me?” The voice broke over the receiver.
“This is Lieutenant here. What is it, officer?”, Rafe replied recognizing the voice of the officer.

The signal was strong and so the voice was very clear.
“The planning was wrong, Sir.German’s took the Route A.”, explained the officer, sounding quite alarmed and nervous.

Rafe froze in his place. It was anticipated but it seemed to answer his worst fears. “Officer, can we have the other two troops back to the area?”, asked Rafe as he had planned out.
“Yes Sir, we could but we lost all forty people who were supposed to tackle there. It was a brutal fight and much more than what we expected of them. Germans attacked from three ends. The enemy almost lost out too; with only few of them left out now. We can handle them. Our troop was very skilled but unfortunate”.

Rafe choked while Pervez just stared at the receiver. Rafe was disgusted with himself. Disgusted for trusting Pervez on this.
“Sir?”, officer called out.
“Yes, I am here”, answered Rafe.
“Didn’t you find it hard to send them to fight, Sir? Should have looked into it one more time. You could have been more careful about the number sent to such a dangerous zone”
Rafe was stunned by such an accusation and looked quite helpless. “Why do you say that , officer?”
“Were you not aware that all the forty people sent to fight were women?!?!”, officer asked in a stern voice.

Rafe simply stared at the receiver. He could feel Pervez’s hand trembling over his shoulders.

Next day, the head office received a resignation letter. It was signed by Lieutenant Colonel of French Sector-A army, Rafe Van.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Unusual II

I lie bruised, burnt ; my beloved,
Journey trancending endless.
I trace my steps to see the beginning,
It seems far beyond levels.
I trusted thyself to make the start,
Now, I trust thyself to end it all.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Appa and Subha - 3

Musings of dad and daughter

Me: What to do if you come across an "unreasonable" person ?
Dad: Ignore. Keep silent.
Me: What if they are mad? shout and throw tantrums?
Dad: hmmmm..
Me: It is very irritating. And I happen to meet one everyday
Dad: hmmmmm...
Me: Will you stop your hmmmm hmmm??? I am .......
(silence)

Me: Dad!!!Why are you silent?

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Appa and Subha - 2

Musings of dad and daughter .

Me: "Can adversity strike twice in anyone's life? I am totally frustrated"

Dad:(not looking up from his newspaper) Well..it did in my life. I had your sister after you.

Appa and Subha - 1

Musings of dad and daughter.

Dad: "What are you smiling at?"

Me: I am looking at the old photos. Look at the weird dress and wide smiles. Look at my haircut.I cant believe I wore all that.I seem mad. In ten years of span, I have changed so much."

Dad: "Really?"

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Then and Now

Five years ago:

I yawned and read the contents at the same time. My mind was blocked and I turned to see what my friend was doing. She had made herself comfortable on the bed and looked dreamily at the book that lay in front of her.
"What you doing?", I asked , breaking the silence.
"Was just thinking", she replied.
"What??", I asked quite annoyed.
"Yesterday my senior sent photos of herself . Remember the one doing M.S. at Chicago? The photos and place were awesome . Wondering if we would go there any time in our lives", she replied dreamily.
"Ya!! U.S. must be fun. No rules and total independence. Teaching is good too. All practical and less theoretical!!" I answered like I have visited U.S. a million times.
"We should go there once Subha!!", she exclaimed.
Definitely!! US is the place to be!!
And we made action like plane taking off.

A month ago,
Me:"Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii...eppadi irruka??" (Hi, How are you?)
Her:"Irrukaen" (Doing ok, not very optimistic)
Me: "How is Houston treating you?"
Her: "ok!"
Me: "Must be fun le?"
Her:" No, feeling very lonely. Just occupying myself so much. Nothing great here."
Me:"Oh..."
Her: Miss you Subha. Miss the time we studied together. Miss everyone there. Miss having people I know around. Miss the crap we did. Miss everything :("

I choked.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Rift that stayed..

Today, 6: 36 p.m.

They were waiting for her signal.It would be given any moment. The position was not comfortable but nobody complained.This was to be their last night.At least, that is what it seemed like.The signal came; it was just a movement of her hand that said ‘move forward’.The four men lurked in a corner adjusted their gun and obeyed her.

27 years ago,

Shalu!We have a new neighbour!’, Mrs.Devaki shouted. Shalini was curious but not very happy.A new neighbour would mean more competition, that is, if they had any kid. Her woes were answered. They had a girl of her own age,five years and she was to join her school. Even without seeing her, she already began to loathe the new neighbour girl.

Today,6:39 p.m.

The men moved slowly towards the house. It was very cold. The chillness didn’t bother them but the silence did.They had an eye on their captain.She moved with them.She put her hand on the lips indicating them to be silent.Silence added to already silent ambience.

22 years ago,

‘Don’t compare me with her’,Shalini shouted.”I was not exactly comparing but quoting the facts”, her father exclaimed. Her father was a typical army man and demanded perfection in everything he did. This included meticulous bringing up of his daughter. He wanted the best for his daughter and demanded the best from her. “I could compare you with her father. He has less experience but more grades than you!”, she retorted back and stormed out of the place.She knew her father must have been hurt by her words but didn’t care. He compared her with the neighbour girl. She loathed her day by day.

Today,6:42 p.m.

One of the men looked at the watch. Just few minutes had passed but seemed like hours. The wait was frustrating but they had been anticipating for this moment for three months. The evidence was strong against the suspect but they were not able to do anything till today. Their captain had worked hard for this case. Exceptionally hard. The reason they didn’t want to fail her today.

13 years ago,

Shalini dropped on the bed and began to cry.She cried her heart out. She had never trusted and liked anyone as she did Ravi. She thought he was hers.Until today. She didn’t know of his intentions. They were best friends since school days. Now, went to the same college.She didn’t know why she was crying;was it because he was not hers or because she was rejected. Ravi had told her that he liked her neighbour girl.She loathed her heart out.She cried the whole night.

Today, 6:46 p.m.,

They were not alone. Four more men were on the other side.Every sense was on alert. The final signal would be given any time.They looked at her. Her face concentrated on the door.She gave the final forward signal.They charged.

11 years ago,

“Dad, I want to go to army.Just like you”, Shalini claimed. Father looked at her; perplexed and astonished. “ Why the sudden plan? Just because you failed a couple of MBA exams doesn’t mean that your life has ended”, he explained. “Why do you think of it that way? I did want to do other things but doesn’t mean I didn’t like army. I wish to go to army. You have to help me”, she said. Her father smiled. “Hope you never regret this decision”, he said. She knew she would never regret anything in life again. She tried to forget Ravi but his memories kept coming back. She had to move out of this place. Somehow. She had to stop dreaming about him. She had to forget that he and the neighbour girl were going to get married in a week’s time.

2 years ago

The report lay in front of her. She knew the contents. She knew her past would come before her and people she had known will be involved. She had to make a decision . To take the case or not was in her hands. She had thought a lot. She opened the file.

Today 6:47

They followed her. She opened the door and signalled a thumbs up. They moved inside. It was dark all over the place.All that could be heard was the floor creaking. The suspect must be here somewhere. They put on their flashes.The captain signalled them to three different directions and she chose to go alone in one direction. The mere presence of the other was the comfort but the captain was alone. They had to appreciate her. The whole place was silent.Adding to the eerie. They were anticipating something to pounce in them. They moved in circles.

Suddenly,they heard bullet sounds from upstairs. It was the direction their captain had chosen. They ran up hoping nothing had happened to their captain.They found her in a dark corner at the end of the passage. Her face gleamed with victory. They knew she had done it. They moved into the room and saw the face of the culprit. He looked innocent enough.There was another dead body next to it. One that of a female.She must have come to save her husband and ended up as a victim too.They heard someone crying and searched the room with their flash lights. A child was sitting in the corner, frightened of the commotion. Their captain went near the child and hugged . She looked into the child’s eyes. The men didn’t understand what she said but were sure she claimed something like “She has Ravi’s eyes”.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Unusual I

World is like an Olympic stadium. You have three kinds of people-the winners, runners and spectators. The winners achieve what they had dreamt and worked for. Runners try to follow the winners. But the power to criticize lies with the spectators. In the end, they are nothing but noise makers.