Tuesday, December 29, 2009

The Sacred Thread

The door creaked when it was opened. Kannan grumbled under his breath. A usual habit in his not so assuring hectic schedule. He adjusted the laptop bag on his shoulders and removed his shoes. He saw another pair lying carelessly on the floor. 'Badri is home already', he noted.

He went straight to the bedroom and saw Badri on the bed-hair disheveled, torn socks and still in his formals. Kannan's temper aroused, but, he didn’t do anything. Badri was not in the state that he could reason out.

Kannan and Badri worked together in the same office and outside their respective hometown. Two years ago, they had rented a house near their workplace. Since then, they had been together. Kannan had been very choosy about his roommate. He was particular that the person be a vegetarian. Badri was an obvious choice.

Kannan placed his bag near the bed. He smelt alcohol. If it were two years ago, he would have complained and thrown tantrums but being with a roommate for a long time teaches you many things. He shoved away the Vishnu Sahasranamam that lay on his table into the draw. It was in Sanskrit and he couldn’t make much out of it. But he never admitted that for it might be against their principles. He wondered if Badri even knew its existence.

Kannan was not a religion fanatic but there were certain things that he could never compromise in his life-his habits and beliefs. And it was a blow when he found Badri loved Non vegetarian food and consumed alcohol. He had tried reasoning out many times, took examples from real life and the Vedas, but nothing had changed Badri. He gave it up and chose to ignore him. It is hard when it is your roommate.

"Kanna..Is it you?", Badri asked, suddenly waking up dazed.

He didn’t bother to reply."Where is the envelope that I had kept on this table?"

Badri sat on the bed and thought for some time. "Oh! The one you forgot to take with you in the morning? I posted it. You said the application closes by weekend."

Kannan looked relieved."Thanks", he replied and moved to kitchen. The place was a mess. The Maggie packets were scattered on the floor. He sighed and started cleaning the place.

"Kannaaaaaaaaaa...one coffee for me too", Badri shouted from the room.' I am not your servant', he thought. He poured coffee into two different glasses-traditional 'tumbler' for himself and into a glass for Badri.

Badri entered the kitchen. "I paid the internet bill da", he said and moved into the room again. Badri never asked for share of money. Kannan framed him as spoilt brat.

"How is your sister? Recovering from Typhoid?", Badri asked."She is fine", was his reply. Badri remembered every member of his family. He had been to his native many times and acted so well that Kannan's parents had no complains. In fact, they believed it was a blessing to have Badri as their son's roommate.

Kannan, on the contrary, had no idea about Badri’s family. He never bothered himself with these kinds of issue. Badri switched on the music system and increased its volume to the maximum. He was annoyed again. Every habit of his annoyed him. He had wanted to change his place many times but when you are in a metro city, things are tougher. Kannan had to tolerate Badri.

There was a sudden knock on the door. 'Drat!his friends again', Kannan thought. Badri had friends visiting frequently, mostly drunkards, but Badri made sure that he had his parties only outside. It was because Kannan hated them.

It wasn’t Badri's friends, but their neighbour.

"Badri!Badri!Gas leak!!The other portion caught fire. Vacate the place fast!", the neighbour screamed.

Kannan stood frozen in place. He couldn’t move. He didn’t know how to react until he felt someone pulling him outside the door. Kanan followed as a puppy behind its master. He was not of conscious of the surroundings. While climbing down the stairs, he saw the fire blazing, eating away the portion of the building and moving towards their portion.

"Stay here Kanna, I will be back. Just stay here.", Badri said calmly. Kannan just nodded like he was listening to a speech. He stood as directed and watched Badri move into the fire. It was then he came in contact with the situation.

What the hell is Badri doing?. "Badriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii...Badriiiiiiiiiiii...daiiiiiiiii". Badri turned and gestured him to stay there in the place. Kannan was hit mentally. He didn’t know what he was doing there. He even forgot the way out. The heat was rising and the fire was just minutes away from him. "God save me. Do something. Just do something. Where did Badri go now?". He tried moving forward. The roof broke down. He jumped over it and jumped skipped the stairs. He could see nothing in front but he ran for his life. He jumped all over the rumbles. Everything seemed blank. He ran as far as his feet could take him.

Two days later

Kannan was aghast at what he was seeing. It was not 'what' but 'who'. The person lying on the hospital bed had skin burnt; everywhere from face to legs. But he was conscious.

"Badri, why did you go back?"

Badri smiled back. Or that is what it seemed like. "How could I leave the boy back there? He was crying. I heard him".

"Still......", Kannan could not say anything."I am sorry Badri. I was selfish then. Can I have your parent’s number? I have to inform them".

Badri smiled again. He was feeling drowsy."I have no one da".

Kannan was speechless. He just stared at Badri. He saw the sacred thread that was hung on the chair. The Bhagawad Gita ; the Vishnu Saharanamam ; the Vedas had not taught him well.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

The journey

Here is a poetry of a kind. What kind? That, even I am not sure. Wrote it for a friend who experienced a break up.(You see, I was doing this motivating part)

The storm brew, clouds grew darker,

Lost in the sound of thunder, vigorous gushes of air

A flash from above and raging waves below,

Nature had its way, left me stranded,

Caught between an urge to escape and will to stay.

Mind remembers everything in crisis,

Thoughts flow in string of odd despair,

‘All was well, life was lived’,

‘Everything tranquil in eyes of all’

‘But, why me?’

I sought for answers, for questions I never knew,

Tried to mend things that could never be brought together,

Heart knew one thing; this is not the place to be,

‘I want to flee. But, why me?’

Plans were laid, expectations were set,

Journey was perfect; I thought it to be,

All seemed well, or I was blind,

‘Whatever may be, but, why me?’

Odds were at ends, does life need a chance again?,

The seas,the skies and thunders, everything scares me,

I wished, I pleaded, I begged,

‘Alas!I ask the same, why me?’

Humanity is a mistake, I am one too,

Like everyone who took up the journey,

For, everyone dreamt the same dream,

‘In all of them, why me?’

I wait for the thunders to cease , I wait patiently,

I wonder if it would ever happen,

I moved in the labyrinth for answers,

Sought to the caves for clues,

Where was I at fault that you punish me,

‘Oh God, why me?’

A voice spoke, not from above,

Not from distant stars or heavens,

But one within me,

‘Journey is a stroll, until you believe,’

‘When fear hovers over faith, you are as good as dead’

‘Journey is not to be crossed, but experienced and learnt’,

‘It is not destination that matters, but each stride’

‘Face it , my boy! Like men of material have’

‘Live it up,my boy!To move or stay, choice is with you.’

P.S.; Excuse me, he liked it!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

When girls play Counter Strike..

Deepak:Eragon
Ron:Ron
Srinath: Illidian
Mayuri:mmm
Sharmi: Ellyse
Yours truly:Raven

And the game begins:

"Raven!!cool!! stay there! stay there!!guard that door", Ron shouted. My ears split.
"Aye Aye captain." I guarded the door.Obviously, the virtual door, waiting for the terrorists to enter.
"Shit man!Ron!the turn around! they might come that way!", yelled Illidian and I became deaf.
"Oh ya! mmm, go guard Raven's back. Possibility of them coming that way". As soon as he said this, three terrorists entered the door. I clenched my teeth and started shooting like they were really going to kill me. Suddenly I felt shots from behind.
"What the heck!!Did the terrorists kill mmm? Someone is shooting me.".
Ron glanced above the screen and saw mmm was still alive. "Hey mmm,whats happening. Are you not guarding Raven's back?
I turned around(obviously in the game) only to find mmm's gun pointing at my butt,ooopppss, guarding my back :(.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Oh meri Anarkali..

I bought an Anarkali chudidar which cost me 2k ! Yes, I was out of my mind when I got it.
It looked like it has been woven during the era of mughals .Rich and traditional. I simply couldn't resist buying.

Yesterday, my friends and me had gone shopping together to buy a gift for a common friend. While selecting a saree, I happened to enlighten two of my guy friends on what exactly was an "Anarkali" chudidar.

"It right tight on the top and flows down at the bottom. Ones you see from old movies where girls dancing in darbar wear", I explained.

One of them got a fair idea while the other still looked perplexed.

"Very traditional wear da. All hindi movies. Come on..you would have seen one".

He still was confused. So, I looked around the shop and saw one of the mannequins wearing it.

"That one! that one!", I said excitedly.

My friend looked at it with interest.

"I have seen that! That's anarkali huh??. Isn't it similar to the gown that expected mother's wear?", he said.


I realised .Yes, I was out of my mind when I got it.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

A review of the BPCL quiz we hosted (IQL team)

Statutory Warning: If you have busy schedules or don’t appreciate humour of any form, I request you not to proceed. For rest, here is the review of the BPCL quiz that KN and me hosted(and backed up by Murthy).

Questions-Simple

8 * 5 rounds

Audience

132 + technicians

Host

2

Finalists

16

Fun

101%

Mistakes

Occasionally

Satisfaction

101%

The ingredients for a perfect quiz. Sometimes it is just not the questions.

Venue: Bharat Petroleum Corp Limited, Anna Nagar.

Occasion: Vigilance Awareness week.

The climate was gloomy but the enthusiastic level inside the auditorium wasn’t. At 10, KN and I were honoured and we clumsily accepted the bouquet offered. The speeches made by the imminent guests were short and sweet (or we dozed off). After all the formalities were done, the stage was set for prelims.

The chairs in the auditorium were arranged in sets of four (members per team) and everyone started discussing from the very first question. I conducted the prelims and made my usual mistake of giving away too many clues. The prelims round of 30 questions (that included 10 hard core BPCL questions) was done within the estimated time of 40 minutes. We had to put up a fight to get the answer sheets back from the participants.

There was a long gap of 2 hours between prelims and finals which gave us enough time for correction.

While correcting a particular question “….Instead,the street was named after Lord _______?” , everyone had written ridicule answers like Warren and Mountbatten . We laughed over it and it took us few minutes to realize that they understood the “Lord” to be the English designation rather than God. We had to appreciate their “out of box” thinking or make a mockery of our inability to think like the participants.

The correction was done in 45 minutes and we went to have our lunch. The menu was set for a king and they called it their “regular” lunch menu. We kept talking to participants to keep ourselves awake.

The finalists were cheered when their names were called out and the quiz began.

There was commotion and excitement from the word go. The audience was as thrilled as the finalists and displayed it by calling out KN’s name for every audience question. The rounds were quick and KN carried himself as professional as he could. There was a huge applause for the connect round making him proud and blush.

There was a close tie between two teams and the team-A who answered the last question correctly emerged as winners.

Winners:

I place : Mr.A .A . Prabhu Roy,Mr.V.S.Raghavan, Mr.Kani Amudhan,Mr.Nagarajan

II Place: Mr.Koshy Vargese, Mr.G.Ravichandran, Mr.Amit Kumar,Mr.L.Chandrasekaran

III Place:Mr.A.C.Iyer, Mr.Sethuraman,Mrs.Hema Malini, Mr.C.Joseph

IV Place: M/s Lakshmi, Mr.Mukesh .K. Singh, Mr.K.Sethuramalingam,Mr.M.Mohan

Yes, according to them, everyone is a winner.

After the prize distribution and thank you speeches, the entire auditorium was silent letting both of us to savour the experience of quizzing.

P.S.; Special thanks to Mr.Saieeji for letting us conduct this Quiz.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

What? Is it me?

I quite often read my own blog posts. I realised one unusual thing.

I have lost the sense of humour.

What? Is it me??

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Blessing and bawling

I fell at my mother's feet.

"Hope you get a good husband", she blessed.

I got up, glared and snapped "Cant you bless me with something like an MBA?"

"I couldn't think of anything at the moment" , she replied trying to look innocent. "Bull!", I growled and shook my head.
"Any way it is not wrong to bless you that way", She justified.
"But it is not what I want at the moment!", I growled again.
"You have been writing CAT year after year. And we have been patient enough", she said.
Very true. Apparently I am one of the very few lucky ones whose parents have let their daughters write CAT again. No, it is not about the exam ; it is about the time period. Two years after college is way too long according to Indian standards. And doing an MBA would take another toll of two years.
It is not pressure. It is irritating to keep in my mind that we don't have time.I don't blame my mother for this. It is the general trend and I have seen her being compelled by other mothers who have married off their daughters early or "at the budding age" to US mapallais.
Once at a jewellery house when we went to get gold coins for Lakshmi puja, a similar incident occurred.
She looked at all the gold stuff and said "Haan! I have to get you that and this..." and again the growling and cribbing started.
"Don't you ever think of anything else in life?", i asked her once.
"You two girls are my most precious things on earth. Don't I have the right to say and do good things for you?", she asked.
"But amma, 24 * 7 it is the same. Are you by any chance brain washing? It is only brain damaging!"
"You don't understand. You will when you cross my age", she said meekly.
Ah!another standard dialogue. It is not like I am hardly romantic or I am against marriages but our own ambitions can be given a thought.
On occasions like this I look upon my father for rescue.
On this particular day of blessing, he intervened too. "What is happening now?, he asked.
"Look at her, dad, again marriage talks", I tried to sound helpless.
"There is nothing wrong blessing her with good husband", my mom justified her point.
Dad looked at both of us and sighed. "Hmmmm...I wonder what the guy's mother is blessing him with. It is not a blessing but a curse for him only", he said and grinned.
I laughed and moved to him leaving behind mom to sulk to herself.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Sigh!

I look at my blog. Nothing new and nothing useful.Just like my life.

Is it worth pushing yourself beyond capability and trusting the instinct every time?Is it necessary to tolerate things happening to you when the truth is slashed across your face and let you know that you cant do it?

On the whole, is it mandatory to do things that you hate just because your ego does not let you accept that you are incapable?

I rather not do a thing I hate but do hundred things I love. Maybe, the thing I hate is going to give me everything-secure future, happiness, pride and even make others happy. But at the end of the day, I just realize I have been cheating myself.

Is it of any use?

P.S.; Sorry for the dysfunctional post. Looks like I am turning pessimist now.

Monday, September 21, 2009

My tarot reading

You are The Empress

Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.

The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents, beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.

The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.


Monday, September 14, 2009

Retrospection when you have committed a mistake

I look back and see the evil me. I smile at my follies. I know I have committed things that were so unknown to others. The satan arose. I hurt and it hurt me. I hate the hatred that existed.I loved the love that was given.In the times that lie ahead, the darker side of life and me.I wish time flew and I erased the naked truth. I wish I knew what was I doing at the moment. I envisaged life as a destination not a path.A path with hurdles.I wish I fell again and again so that the pain would take away the pain.
Lessons of life taught the hard way. And it does hurt.

I ask..

I ask for time to fly past,
I ask for forgiveness,
I ask for pain where it hurts the most,
I ask for words that were uttered,
I ask for people who cared,
I ask for love so rare,
I ask for reasons for stupidity,
I ask for destiny to take toll,
I ask for peace,
I ask for fruits for deeds,
I ask for decisions to be rectified,


I ask for another chance in life..

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Time pass

It was early in the morning and I was walking towards the bus stop. Lost in my own world, I came to a halt. I was little confused what stirred me; then I saw sparks from the transformer below which I stood.I trotted forward to a safe area and looked up. There was smoke coming from a particular spot of the transformer.Within seconds, something black whirled and fell on the ground.On closer look, I recognised a crow.Fried.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Namma Ooru T.Nagar

Caution: If you know the place T.Nagar at Chennai, you will enjoy this. If not, you will get to know the place .

The symbol "P" of Pothys is like a light house.Yes, you can see it from all four corners of T.Nagar. So, in which direction will you head to when your friend says Pothys ?? That is T.Nagar for you.
The word to describe the place- confusion.
Your Rs.2500 leather bag is provoked by Rs.25 bag on street and it will be so identical that you would have forgotten in which hand you held the original. The roads are made into networks wherever possible that beats Japan roads hands down and in every nook and corner, you find shops that sell anything and everything and rates one-fourth the original.
A fly over was opened recently to reduce traffic but is far from it. The traffic still exists, now on the bridge itself.Underneath the fly over, you see human traffic(not trafficking, mind you) along with cows and dogs and you are not sure on whose foot(or paw) you stepped on. Vehicles are parked under the bridge such that you are perplexed whether the bridge stands due to the boulders or the vehicles.
People stop at every place and you suddenly find yourself not being able to move forward-why?because a couple have entangled not leaving each other and holding on to like crisis is nearing. The idea of romanticism in such place is something that leaves me in awe.
Everyone bargains at their loudest decibel so that it is heard by everyone. Probably, an idea of marketing. Here you find an amalgam of languages in one go; each shopkeeper addressing you guessing that you are from so an so place.
Most families in Chennai plan to go this place for a picnic. Good bargain I would say; complete package-you get what you need, get to window shop with no trouble, buy other things in cheaper rate and things to eat at every corner of the street.
Shopping in this place has its own pleasure.Couple of girls giggling at the earrings at a small roadside shop and boys hoping that the girls would finish with the shopping soon.At the end of the day, the experience would leave you amused and contented.
T.Nagar is a city in itself . Chennaites love this place and others who come here will learn to love it.


Sunday, August 9, 2009

Bad hair day..

There are times when you want to run away from the world. When you want to get invisible and slap some people. Wished that time flew faster. Hoped that you could predict the future.

Worst- when you are feeling all of that at one go :(.

I am. Now.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Hear ..hear..

What do you expect to hear from others? My opinions on it.

Father : The exact opposite of what you claim. Whatever you say doesn't matter and it is absolute nonsense.

Mother: What father says but refined so that it favours you too. You are confused on whose side she is.

Sibling : Listens to your argument. Tries to make sense of it or shuts up. Mostly tries not to involve.

Friend : Says what you want to hear. Whether it is right or wrong doesn't matter.

Boy friend / Girl friend : Digs, asks more and listens patiently. Doesn't give opinion on the spot. Usually silent but makes a mental note of everything.

Cousin : Polished speech. You have no clue whether it is mockery or advice. You sense ignorance every time.


The so called 'Demi Gods' *

* I removed the cobwebs. Both from the blog and my head :)

I sipped hard through the straw till the last contents of the glass made noise.
"Heard of Sarath Babu?", asked Bharath.My eyebrows shot up. Not again.

It was one of the Pagal guys meet at CCD and we were discussing arbit topics when one mentioned about the slum-dog-almost-millionaire.Sarath Babu, the guy from the slums who went on to study at BITS and even made through the most coveted IIM A. I have made him my icon and praised him enough at competitions and debates.But, I found restlessness discussing him again.It is true that you don't see someone like him everyday but what happens to people who achieve something similar or even more but are not spoken about at all.

I have a thought lingering in my mind. Does hard work become less when you are comparatively better off ? Does one get things easily if give they are given better opportunities?

To ask a simple question- would Sarath have made it to IIM or opened the food king catering if he was from a middle class family? The answer is dicey- could be a yes or a no.

The point I am trying to imply is that it is not one's status that pushes individual to do extra-ordinary things. It could be many factors- ambitions, need to prove or something else. I remember when my friend said that he was going to start his own business, others shooed it off saying his parents could compensate his losses and he has nothing to risk. I beg to differ here. I believe that everyone has a dream and while achieving it, they put in the same amount of effort and are willing to take risks.

The so called Demi Gods; they too deserve some praise because it is not their fault that they are better off.




Saturday, May 23, 2009

Om Namo Narayanaya Namaha..

First of all, titles can be abrupt , bad or even make you wonder what it has to do with the text. I have known to set up strange lines but it happens because I am clueless on how to start .

Forgive the dimwit.

Yesterday, after a long long long time, I happened to go to a temple with my family(to temple-weekly, with mom-occasionally, with family-hardly). So, it was kind of nice feeling yet strange and funny occasion.
Why strange and funny?- read on.

"Take the lamp on the right", my mom ushered while i was still scanning at the numerous lamps that were laid over a large steel table with newspaper on.I couldn't decide and so picked something in random.I walked slowly into the temple such that it gave an illusion there was going to be a nuclear holocaust nearby.

"There is a big lamp. Lit yours there. Do not lit from other people's lamp".I could hear my mothers commanding voice from behind. I was shocked to see the big lamp. Technically, it was not a lamp but blazing fire that grew an inch every minute. Probably,I am still immature to divinity that can burn my fingers.I gave my mother my most innocent and helpless look.

"Useless!!Can sit at home and eat well only!!cant do....". Okies, you got it. And rest you know.I just made sure that no one was around to hear this.

I wiped off the oil slyly in my dupatta(the obvious reason that there were no rags nearby) and bent down to the floor to worship when...drat!!..all the contents in my bag promptly fell out making the loudest possible noise.Mom did her eye exercise again while i did my own of looking somewhere else other than at her.

We moved inside the temple.Temples are always fascinating. They give you an aura of something powerful which goes beyond my capability of explanation.I made two wishes and hoped someone would ring the bell after the two wishes. The place was crowded that people rang the bell every 30 seconds and I began to do the vice -versa of making wishes when the bell rang(Sometimes human beings can be desperate).Suddenly the lights went off. Bad luck i thought:(. But it wasn't. God looked magnificent among the lamps.I have never seen a spectacular view before.The priest was doing the pooja and the granny next to me was cribbing about everything around. Eventually, I was smiling, concentrating and listening to the priest.

When the darshan was done, we began to move slowly outside the temple.I often wonder how it happens to me. Like Mr.Bean jokes where you know what is going to happen next, I tripped over the floor and landed smoothly on the granny.

"Aiyooooooooooooo.......narayana......aiyooooooooooooo...pathu po matiya??"(Cant you see while walking?). I looked sheepishly. I could have done that "Pathu"(see) part if there were lights. I said hundred sorrys, bent down to see if she was  hurt. When I realised that she was fussing over nothing, I side stepped and moved out of the place.

I was glad when I moved outside in the cool air. My sister came out with her big grin stuck onto her face. I didnt look at mom and my dad gave no reaction. The floor was burning hot when we walked around the temple and so, sister and me were dancing all over the place.

We settled in a cool place in the veranda like thing when I saw the granny again. I tried to hide myself behind my sister. "Shall we buy muruku?", sis asked. I was glad to escape the granny and ran to the prasad stand.



Saturday, March 21, 2009

The dark knight...

I took a sly look in his direction. He was still there. The same place and stood waiting.I made no sudden movements.

I took a step forward like I was checking out hot coal-cautious .I could hear my heart pumping. He stood still and relished the fact that his victim was intimidated.I tried showing no emotions but every time he tilted his head, sweat trickled from my brow. I took a long breathe and moved  forward very slowly.

I clutched my bag so tight that it drew new lines on my palm.The pain went unnoticed. It wasnt as bothersome as him. I took another look, this time, a full view.

I wondered how I didnt see him in the first place. I took notice only when i felt the leaves rustle behind me. I felt foolish. I felt lost. I moved slowly again. Even though I didnt face him, I still could feel his sight behind me. I made a silent prayer. My mouth waiting to cry out loud any time.

My vision of the path in front seemed dazed. I was not concentrating. I just followed my heels. I didnt know where I was escaping to.

Life is not fair. God is biased. Why give some the powers to cause fear while others to just run.Was  he was made to frighten me? Why me? He took his chance when I was alone. Did he dare when I was with others? He dare not. He knew his limits. There was no time to think rubbish, no time to lament, no time to wish. I needed to move out from the place-somehow and safe.

When every strategy I tried failed, I had no choice but to wish. Wish that someone came by or something happened to just frighten him off. But the morning was as silent as ever and this added to my fears. Why was he that cheap to choose the same girl over and over again? But then, it was him. It was in him to seek the weakest prey. 

My eyes went watery but I didnt stop. Held my bag so tight. Now, I waited for him to do something. I was ready. I was brave.Or at least acted brave.

He tilt his dark head one more time. Spread out his wings and cried out loud.

The raven flew down the tree in my direction and I ran out of the place. Ran for my life.A great escape again from the bird,the dark knight.


Sunday, January 4, 2009

Shatabdhi express..

I cursed everything.The pavement I walked on, the large number of turns, the security at the gate, the lady who checked my bag, the gate outside which was small, the auto driver, the station and everything. Yes, everything except myself.

I had to catch a train at 2:20 and I was still in the campus at 1:35.I was late and blame it again on Amir Khan and his Ghajini movie.The auto driver was a superman in disguise; I reached the station at 2:10. 

I took a look at my watch (and also my mobile) and tried to open the door of the train.

"Eh eh eh..".It didn't open. After giving a stern look at the door ,I turned around. There were couple of foreigners and a small guy looked at me amused. My first reaction was to frown but I remembered all the ethical stuff done for three weeks at my work place that made me smile at him. 
"We have are here for more than an hour.They open the door only at 2 : 20". He explained or that is what I understood from his accented English. 
"Oh okies,thank you",I replied feeling very foolish and moved on acting like I wanted to buy a water bottle.There were no bottles available near by, but I loitered around.

The train door opened exactly at 2:20 and I was the first one in the train. It was a window seat and after settling, I just looked at the crowd passing by.In another few minutes, all seats beside me were filled. The train started and I started messaging .

An hour passed and when I had absolutely nothing to do, I opened my book to study.

"Are you a student?"

Suddenly waking up from immerse scrutinizing of numbers, I looked at my neighbour.

"No no,I am working.I am taking up an exam for higher studies", I replied.

"What exam and course?Is it for....", asked the lady next to him.

"Wow.How did you know?", I asked

"My husband is from that college", she pointed at a guy who was asleep in the next seat."He told me that you might be studying for the exam".

I closed the book. This was becoming a big issue and I was doing nothing worth it.The next thing I wanted was a take on my scores which was beyond predictability.

Food arrived.Juice, biscuits and also a water bottle. I tried opening the bottle and spilt water.

Then all of us started talking. Everything in general-about travel, food, culture,general perspective and so on.

The second round of food arrived and it excited me :D . If you are a foodie,you would know. Now, it was some samosa and sandwiches.Plate clean again.

I felt a little drowsy and slept with the ear phones still plugged into my ears. Typical Indian. Food, sleep and chat.

"What do you want to become?" ,the lady asked.

Huh? 

Ok, Here I am calling myself a "software" engineer and she is asking me what I want to become?

"Thin" was the response that ran in my head but if blurted then, the whole train would have rocked laughing.

"I don't know. Probably an HR."I knew the next question.

"Why?"

"Why" is the hardest question ever. Easy to ask but difficult to answer.Why ask why every time?

I smiled sheepishly and said "I think it suits me."

"Oh, technically.Did you do a research on it??"

Eh..now whats that??   "No, I havent looked into it. I am just fascinated. A blind passion is what you can call it. I think I would suit better. In simple terms, after all confusions and mix, this is something I have decided by myself", I replied without breathe.

"That is very pleasant to hear. You think you will not stagnate anytime?", she asked again.

Where is this leading.Grr...

The dinner arrived and I was grateful. I think I thanked Laloo Prasad Yadav also.

She didnt stop.She was waiting for an answer.

"I will not. Probably will make it exciting.Please dont ask how.I haven't found out how".

She smiled and we ate in silence.

Silence is mystery. It occasionally leads to introspection. I began one too. Why is that I am stubborn on something? Is it passion? Is it for dignity purposes?

Then we began to speak on general topic. The guy next to me was a doctor. He gave insights on the  medical field. The husband gave tips for the exam. We reached destination at 10 p.m.

I pulled out my bag and like every typical Indian stood up to rush out first.

Out of curiosity, I asked her, "What are you doing?"

She smiled and replied " I am an HR".

I was startled and said "Oh!Thats great!!"

"Subhashree, you will make a good HR"

I was speechless. I was glad. I was shocked. I was nervous. I stood frozen.

A compliment. A hope. A word that made difference.

I smiled,didn't thank her(or forgot you can say) and got down the train. "Hopefully, someday, hopefully", I whispered.

"HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII.........." , my sister greeted and I grinned. Took a last look at her, waved and left the place.

Why is that a compliment from someone unknown makes me so happy ?Is it the compliment? I didnt undersatnd.I dont think I ever will.