Sunday, November 16, 2008

Understanding inflation the historic way;)

THE PLAN 

The map of Kurukshetra lay open on the table. The only source of light in the room was from the zero watt bulb that was swinging slightly over the five heads that were pondering over the map. 

“This”, Arjuna moved forward “is going to be the venue for the war”. He circled the place with his fingers. 

“Hmmm..That is Harayana. Is the place affordable?” asked Bhima scratching his chin. “The price of land is high”.

 “That is very true, but Nakulan and Sahadev have agreed to part their money for this purpose”. 

“Why only them? Why not all of us?” asked Draupadi with an accusation tone. She was clad in simple salwar kameez .Draupadi was the only wife of the Pandavas or “Kissi Se Kam Nahi Hum Paanch(KKNHP)” as they call themselves which is an adaptation and an idea inspired from the Ekta Kapoor serials. It was not meant to be Polyandry but done out of desperate measures as the Shaadi.com showed Draupadi to be highly paid in an IT industry and each of them could not afford  to waste money on the marriage halls and food individually.

But all the excellent planning backfired as IT industry was not doing good leaving the entire family to worry on the basic necessity. 

“Because they are the only ones in the medical field and it is the only profession that seems to be least affected by the recession”, explained Arjuna. Nakulan and Sahadev nodded in agreement.

 “Is this war really necessary?” asked the wise Yudhistra. 

“Of course!! If we do well, that is slap well, Lait Modi has agreed to take us for the next IPL with Deepika Padukone as our promoter and Cheerleaders from France.” said Bhima. 

“Really??”,asked Yudhistra innocently. 

“Duh no!!I was just kidding. The war is just for dignity purposes and I am very sure that the Kauravas are in same dilemma as us. We are just 5 in number but them?!! Even the 99 couldn’t afford an eye operation for their father. It’s a national crisis.” 

“Let’s quit this Kurukshetra place and call for a war at the beach”, put forth Draupadi. 

“Brilliant idea!!” exclaimed Yudhistra ,It is  almost priceless and we can buy Bhajjis for lunch and dinner.” 

“Lunch and dinner??” Sahadev moved forward to get a better look at Yudhistra, “How long is this war? Not just a day?” 

“Hmmm..true.Lets not have it for 18 days. Let us make it just one day. Ok, finally the place is at the beach and the war is for a day. That is decided then.” 

“Will they agree on all that?” offered Sahadev 

“They would definitely agree with all the terms. The understanding is mutual. I am hungry. What is for lunch now? I smell Biriyani” 

“Biriyani?? Are you out of your mind? Do you have any clue about the prices of vegetables and cereals?! , yelled Draupadi and the Pandavas acted like they were busy looking at the map. 

“These men have no clue about what is happening around…..” Draupadi left the room grumbling to herself. 

“Now for the arms and facilities needed. How many swords do we need? Do we need to recruit any more people or manage the whole thing ourselves?”, asked Arjuna as he jotted down everything that was being discussed. 

“Oh oh..swords of steel?? Highly impossible”,said Yudhihstra. “And don’t worry about their strength. I heard that 50% of them have shifted to UK for work. Another 20% are very desperate to do their higher in some foreign country. 10 % are under fed and cannot fight and another 10% have gone to negotiate the nuke deal. That is only 10% who are left or just 10 people and I think we can very well manage them.” 

“Drat!! Karna is with them”,said Bhima. 

“So what?” 

“Don’t you realize he has the Kavacha Kundala of gold? Just imagine the amount of gold he has!! And considering the gold prices now, it is a bumper prize.”,moaned Bhima. 

“Is it possible to drag him to our side? We can lure him.Tell him that we have quotas for positions in the war and make him chief of army”, offered Nakulan. 

“Chief of army with just 5 of us here?! I don’t think that is necessary. He is a generous guy, so, would have parted away money for everyone’s education. His gold won’t be a great threat to us”. 

“High prices and low income is getting on our nerves. There must be some way to fight this war, otherwise we wont go down in history as the great Pandavas but as the people who fought the inflation.” 

Everyone agreed with Arjuna. 

“Arjuna,I think it is high time you dismissed your chauffeur Krishna.We cant afford to have him anymore.We cant afford the car in the first place. The amount I paid for the petrol and Krishna for last two years is four times the value of the car.” explained Sakadhev. 

“Oh!!I will miss my sarathy . If I sell my car,how do we go to the war? It would be pathetic if  we walked.” 

“No worries.I am planning to get the Nano car.”, assured Nakula.

The occupants of the room smiled at each other.The room was silent again. 

Everyone was startled when Yudishtra suddenly stood from his chair. 

“Hey!!I have an idea.An idea how this war can be fought.And here it is………………’ 

“Great idea Yudhi!!Well done!!Somebody pass on your mobile please.I will tell this to Kauravas.They are bound to agree”,said Arjuna excitedly. 

Each looked away. 

“No balance” said Nakulan.“Validity over” said Sahadev.”I left it in my room” said Yudhistra. 

“Chill Chill!!I have Virgin mobile.You can have mine”.Bhima passed on his mobile and Arjuna explained the plan to Duryodhana. 

 D  DAY 

14,410!! Come on Arjuna!!You can do better than that!! 

“Oh my god!! Karna is on 15,820!!” 

“Arjuna!!the left key.. the left key!!ahhhh…fast fast” 

The war happened.Yes,it happened.Not on real ground but on Orkut online games.

 

The price of the war –internet charges were to be paid by the losing team.

 

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Extravagance

Our colony never missed out an occasion.Be it children's day or Independence day (aree..valentine's day bhi..) and Diwali was no exception. There were huge surprises like game stalls,chaat, dinner, crackers and so on.

The game stalls were put up by the members and very innovative. After food,we hit the lawns where the Tambola event took place.(Drat!!I hate these luck based games.But that didn't stop my sister and me buying couple of tickets.).After having a miserable time watching other people get huge amounts right under our noses,we waited for the cracker show which was supposed to be the highlight of the evening.

Whhhhhhhhoooossshhhh..flew rockets in different directions and displayed the finest scenes.Many crackers and rockets were let to burst that I began to realise that the Chinese Olympics' opening ceremony was far  less spectacular than this.At first,it was exciting and couple of guys shouted for every cracker that went up.After half an hour so,they were drained out but continued to watch.

We thought the show was over when they unfurled something that seemed like a thousand wala but was styled as rockets.Only when it was lit did we realise that it was a hundred rockets which were to burst simultaneously one after the other. The cracker went on and on like never ending shallow seas(ok,I exhibit poetic skills to show how irritating it was). After waiting for ages, I realised I couldnt see my neighbour as the whole lawn was covered with smoke.

The nation is in financial crisis but there are people who seemed least affected.The thousand wala thing cost around 3 lakhs (more than my expected annual income :( ) and the result was smoke,pollution and wastage of money for the 30 minutes pleasure of audience. 

It would have better if some under privileged children were allowed to spectate this or the money was used for something else. 

It would have been wise if people knew and cared for the environment.

It would have been worthy if sweets or clothes were distributed among the poor.

It would have been considerate if only games and less crackers were used.

It would have been better if I had voiced my opinion there rather than writing a blog like this :( .